At the store, clerk and customer talk:
Clerk: That’ll be $27.98.
Cust: Here are thirty.
Clerk: I can’t make change for that.
Cust: Why not?
Clerk: Well, for one thing, that’s Monopoly money. It’s not real.
Cust: Of course it is, why, I just bought Boardwalk with it.
Clerk: But that’s in a game. The money works there.
Cust: And it should work here.
Clerk: No, we have an official currency in this country. And it’s not game money.
Cust: And just what would that currency be if not Monopoly money?
Clerk: We’ve switched to Yuans and Euros to satisfy the Chinese, Brazilians, and the French.
Cust: What?!!!!
Clerk: Yes, just happened recently. I know. Tough to learn a new currency and to figure the exchange rate, but other countries have done it in the past, so why not the USA? Think of the Pound and the Deutsche Mark.
Cust: But we have a monopoly. Shouldn’t our Monopoly money be universal?
Clerk: We did have a monopoly. Gave it away over the years to China. “Made in China”; see, it’s right there on the bottom of the things you bought. Go ahead. Go through the entire store. Find something that America has a monopoly on.
Cust: Well, I didn’t…
Clerk: Yep. You’re Monopoly money isn’t the favored currency anymore. What did you think would happen when you taxed businesses out of the country for decades and decades?
Cust: But businesses should pay their fair share.
Clerk: Of what? People go into business to make wealth. Great wealth comes from monopoly. And wealth systems have changed throughout history. Think not? Roman coins are in museums. By convention, we accept paper money, but that’s by convention. Even some Caribbean island countries are thinking of going off the dollar. They can read the “Made in China” on the bottom of the goods they import. Geez, Americans don’t even want to sell their own oil, coal, and natural gas. How can a country that has a potential monopoly on fossil fuels not bother to sell them? We could flood the market. We could monopolize the fossil fuel industry; we have about a century’s worth of natural gas in addition to all that oil and coal. *
Cust: What am I going to do with this Monopoly money?
Clerk: Put it away in the Monopoly box. The game’s missing too many pieces after years of disuse. Do you even have all those little houses and hotels? Do you have all the cards? What do you do, take it out every long once in awhile to play for an hour’s diversion? Has anyone ever finished a complete Monopoly game? I know that after someone takes Boardwalk and Park Place, I’m leaving the game, and right now it seems that China has both properties and is acquiring more.
Cust: I guess I hadn’t thought of that. Do you take credit?
Clerk: Who issued the card?
Cust: Uh…I guess I hadn’t noticed all these Chinese characters in the fine print on the back of the card. Do you take gold? I have this filling…
*Total potential recoverable reserves of natural gas equal more than 2,000 trillion cubic feet. Current recoverable reserves equal 473.3 trillion cubic feet. The country has the world’s largest coal reserves at 250 billion tonnes (long tons), or just under a quarter of the world’s total reserves. Right now, the US crude oil reserves equal 44.4 billion barrels.
Clerk: That’ll be $27.98.
Cust: Here are thirty.
Clerk: I can’t make change for that.
Cust: Why not?
Clerk: Well, for one thing, that’s Monopoly money. It’s not real.
Cust: Of course it is, why, I just bought Boardwalk with it.
Clerk: But that’s in a game. The money works there.
Cust: And it should work here.
Clerk: No, we have an official currency in this country. And it’s not game money.
Cust: And just what would that currency be if not Monopoly money?
Clerk: We’ve switched to Yuans and Euros to satisfy the Chinese, Brazilians, and the French.
Cust: What?!!!!
Clerk: Yes, just happened recently. I know. Tough to learn a new currency and to figure the exchange rate, but other countries have done it in the past, so why not the USA? Think of the Pound and the Deutsche Mark.
Cust: But we have a monopoly. Shouldn’t our Monopoly money be universal?
Clerk: We did have a monopoly. Gave it away over the years to China. “Made in China”; see, it’s right there on the bottom of the things you bought. Go ahead. Go through the entire store. Find something that America has a monopoly on.
Cust: Well, I didn’t…
Clerk: Yep. You’re Monopoly money isn’t the favored currency anymore. What did you think would happen when you taxed businesses out of the country for decades and decades?
Cust: But businesses should pay their fair share.
Clerk: Of what? People go into business to make wealth. Great wealth comes from monopoly. And wealth systems have changed throughout history. Think not? Roman coins are in museums. By convention, we accept paper money, but that’s by convention. Even some Caribbean island countries are thinking of going off the dollar. They can read the “Made in China” on the bottom of the goods they import. Geez, Americans don’t even want to sell their own oil, coal, and natural gas. How can a country that has a potential monopoly on fossil fuels not bother to sell them? We could flood the market. We could monopolize the fossil fuel industry; we have about a century’s worth of natural gas in addition to all that oil and coal. *
Cust: What am I going to do with this Monopoly money?
Clerk: Put it away in the Monopoly box. The game’s missing too many pieces after years of disuse. Do you even have all those little houses and hotels? Do you have all the cards? What do you do, take it out every long once in awhile to play for an hour’s diversion? Has anyone ever finished a complete Monopoly game? I know that after someone takes Boardwalk and Park Place, I’m leaving the game, and right now it seems that China has both properties and is acquiring more.
Cust: I guess I hadn’t thought of that. Do you take credit?
Clerk: Who issued the card?
Cust: Uh…I guess I hadn’t noticed all these Chinese characters in the fine print on the back of the card. Do you take gold? I have this filling…
*Total potential recoverable reserves of natural gas equal more than 2,000 trillion cubic feet. Current recoverable reserves equal 473.3 trillion cubic feet. The country has the world’s largest coal reserves at 250 billion tonnes (long tons), or just under a quarter of the world’s total reserves. Right now, the US crude oil reserves equal 44.4 billion barrels.
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