“Yes, but I miss those days.”
“Really? What is it that you really miss, a few selected moments among uncounted thousands of other moments, a few sensations, maybe something like Proust’s smelling and tasting a cake? The problem is that memory is one kind of reality that we can fictionalize. We can’t fictionalize the present. It happens. We respond. It’s over. Ah! Now we can fictionalize: Those were the good ol’ days.”
“I see what you mean. Nevertheless, I can note real changes.”
“Example?”
“Well, the neighborhood was different. And the town, too. Used to be able to go into a store, and now I’m buying stuff online. Used to see people going to church, and now the Sunday streets are empty, and some of the churches have closed. Those are ‘real’ changes; there’s no denying it, no fictionalizing.”
“True, but that goes back to what I said at the beginning. It’s the way of the world. Every place has a temporary character. Maybe that’s why we cherish antiques and old schoolhouses. They provide a tangible example of the past to which we can add selected memories and fictionalized circumstances and interactions. Prague. Untouched by the bombing of WWII. Looks pretty much the same. Charming place to visit. Walk the bridge lined with artists. And there are other ‘old towns’: Williamsburg, VA, Newport, RI, and some scattered neighborhoods throughout any land. Pleasant places to visit, aren’t they?”
“Now that I think about them and other places I cherished, I begin to wonder what the current ‘permanent’ residents think and do there. Such places are my remembered and fictionalized past, but they make the environment of the present for those residents. And they’re human, so they are probably steeped in daily goings on that only in retrospect can be viewed as good times or bad. What am I really seeking in ‘missing those days’?”
“Permanence in a finite world. Even when you are healthy and relatively problem free, you know change is inevitable. That no place remains the same. That old oak will die someday, and possibly no one will plant a new oak to take its place. Savannah, GA, with its tree-lined streets and hanging Spanish moss, will change tree-by-tree, termite infestation-by-termite-infestation, and storm-by-storm. And residents will move out or pass away, to be replaced by new residents with different interests and aesthetic principles, possibly widely different beliefs and lifestyles. Rome, the Eternal City, isn’t the Rome it once was. And even when it “was what it was,” it really wasn’t, was it?”
“Still, I can’t get by the longing for those days and places I cherish.”
“No problem. But, in case you want to keep yourself from drowning in nostalgia, here’s an easy three-step mechanism that will bring you to the reality of both your and any place’s transitory nature. First, visit in person or online any volcanic site, such as Crater Lake in Oregon. The lake is impressive, six miles across and at one end 2,000 feet deep and surrounded by walls rising 2,000 feet over the water. Second, imagine the ancient western life, both early North Americans and animals living and working in the shadows of the volcano and its forests. Third, imagine the catastrophic eruption of the volcano, one that would have killed every life-form in the surrounding terrain. Abrupt changes are usually catastrophic. You’ve been complaining about gradual changes. Which would you prefer? A volcanic eruption, a devastating forest fire, a tsunami, an earthquake, a war, or the slow changes that you choose to ignore while you are not only part of them, but also a cause of them? Yes, you are part of the reason that the ‘good ol’ days’ are gone. You, and of course, those who shared those days with you. Look around; take notice. You’ll be selectively remembering and fictionalizing today someday.”