Unless you are a mariner, oceanographer, or marine archaeologist, you probably haven’t used fathom with respect to water. You might, however, have used it with respect to understanding: “I can’t fathom your reason for doing what you did”; “Who could fathom the depths of your depression?”
Fathom is cognate of faethm, an Old English word that implies embracing or enveloping, something akin to what one can do with outstretched arms. The actual measure is standardized in the metric system, but let’s go with six feet, an approximation of measurement from fingertip to fingertip on arms spread wide. In water, depth is measured in fathoms.
In emotions, there is no such precise quantification. Fathoming is what we do when another is suffering. We want to get to the “bottom” of the problem. In doing so, we reach out, ready to embrace. But there’s a catch: To embrace one in depth with arms that span only six feet, we have to enter the water somehow. We have to be down there with the person. That’s not an easy matter for those not dressed in psychological scuba gear.
When we can’t embrace, we echo the familiar, “I can’t fathom…,” expressing our inability to understand the motivation of another. Depression can be deep and therefore, unfathomable for others. We often think in terms of others reaching downward to embrace because those “at depth” often don’t have the energy to reach upward—and with good reason. Being at depth is scary. Pressure increases in the real ocean by one atmosphere for every 33 feet of depth, so going under presents dangers. Those in the depths of depression really do need psychological scuba divers, people equipped properly to go down where they are, outstretch their arms, and help them swim out of the depths.
Yet, there are levels of “depression” that aren’t totally unfathomable by those who swim in the sea of love. From the surface and from fingertip to fingertip, we can reach those who are only one fathom deep. We need to reach out quickly before they sink lower.
Fathom is cognate of faethm, an Old English word that implies embracing or enveloping, something akin to what one can do with outstretched arms. The actual measure is standardized in the metric system, but let’s go with six feet, an approximation of measurement from fingertip to fingertip on arms spread wide. In water, depth is measured in fathoms.
In emotions, there is no such precise quantification. Fathoming is what we do when another is suffering. We want to get to the “bottom” of the problem. In doing so, we reach out, ready to embrace. But there’s a catch: To embrace one in depth with arms that span only six feet, we have to enter the water somehow. We have to be down there with the person. That’s not an easy matter for those not dressed in psychological scuba gear.
When we can’t embrace, we echo the familiar, “I can’t fathom…,” expressing our inability to understand the motivation of another. Depression can be deep and therefore, unfathomable for others. We often think in terms of others reaching downward to embrace because those “at depth” often don’t have the energy to reach upward—and with good reason. Being at depth is scary. Pressure increases in the real ocean by one atmosphere for every 33 feet of depth, so going under presents dangers. Those in the depths of depression really do need psychological scuba divers, people equipped properly to go down where they are, outstretch their arms, and help them swim out of the depths.
Yet, there are levels of “depression” that aren’t totally unfathomable by those who swim in the sea of love. From the surface and from fingertip to fingertip, we can reach those who are only one fathom deep. We need to reach out quickly before they sink lower.
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