Elsie, Bessie, and Buttercup have a mooooving conversation.
Elsie: “Did you see the news. Someone potty-trained the kids.”
Bessie: “No.”
Buttercup: “Doesn’t surprise me. My new grand-calf is smart as a pig, maybe even smarter.”
Bessie: “All grandmas think that. You tellin’ us, Elsie, we don’t have to look before we step in the pasture? Dung-it, that would be great. I always have to wait for a rainstorm to get clean.”
Elsie: “Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh! Sh…. I just stepped in another one. But it’s true, some humans trained cows to use a designated area to relieve themselves. *
Bessie: “Well, send my milk to the churn if that an’t sompthin.”
Buttercup: “And humans called us ‘dumb’! See, I told you gals that Baby Belle was smart.”
Elsie: “Humans! They think they’re so smart. They chain us in a barn and keep us from roaming over the pasture. I don’t know about you, but I could use some sunshine and fresh grass. Heck, I’d even help train the kids, make them ‘civilized,’ so to speak.”
Bessie: “So, how’d these humans potty-train the kids? Did they get ‘em to graze on hashish and tell ‘em that there’s more like that at the potty-yard? That worked for the hashishin.”
Elsie: “Kinda. They gave them treats if they used the ‘facility,’ classic conditioning, I’d say. And for those who didn’t make it to the ‘bathroom’ in time, they used a water spray as a ‘punishment.’ Not all the kids learned, but a surprising number did.”
Buttercup: “They better not dope up my grand-calf with some cannabinoid.”
Elsie: “Relax, Buttercup. No one’s giving Baby Belle THC. That’s something humans save for themselves.”
Bessie: “She’s right, you know. Funny how so many humans think they’re sompthin’ special because they graze on a drug they call ‘grass.’ Anyway, isn’t it kind of ironic that humans can be taken up with training us, but that they can’t train themselves to be civilized? Even when they offer one another green ‘treats’ they call money, they get only some temporary or partial conditioning. Heck, I heard there’s a whole country where humans prefer their past over the conditions of the present, a place where no one in charge pushes for education of the females. Bulls, every one of them! Buttin’ heads, gorin’ one another. Barnyard bullies, that’s humans, for you. And they’re everywhere, but especially in that one countryside, where patties cover the grazin’ land. Can’t imagine there’s any place to walk there without steppin' in it.”
Buttercup: “I’m going to see Baby Belle.”
Elsie: “Come on, Bessie, let’s go see this cow potty I read about. I heard there's a bunch of humans who think they can train everyone to act civilized.”
Bessie: “Okay, but even there, we better watch where we step. As you said, ‘Not all the kids learned.’ But I guess it’s better than walkin’ over that grazin’ land in Afghanistan.”
Note:
*https://www.science.org/content/article/barnyard-breakthrough-researchers-successfully-potty-train-cows
Elsie: “Did you see the news. Someone potty-trained the kids.”
Bessie: “No.”
Buttercup: “Doesn’t surprise me. My new grand-calf is smart as a pig, maybe even smarter.”
Bessie: “All grandmas think that. You tellin’ us, Elsie, we don’t have to look before we step in the pasture? Dung-it, that would be great. I always have to wait for a rainstorm to get clean.”
Elsie: “Yeah, I know what you mean. Oh! Sh…. I just stepped in another one. But it’s true, some humans trained cows to use a designated area to relieve themselves. *
Bessie: “Well, send my milk to the churn if that an’t sompthin.”
Buttercup: “And humans called us ‘dumb’! See, I told you gals that Baby Belle was smart.”
Elsie: “Humans! They think they’re so smart. They chain us in a barn and keep us from roaming over the pasture. I don’t know about you, but I could use some sunshine and fresh grass. Heck, I’d even help train the kids, make them ‘civilized,’ so to speak.”
Bessie: “So, how’d these humans potty-train the kids? Did they get ‘em to graze on hashish and tell ‘em that there’s more like that at the potty-yard? That worked for the hashishin.”
Elsie: “Kinda. They gave them treats if they used the ‘facility,’ classic conditioning, I’d say. And for those who didn’t make it to the ‘bathroom’ in time, they used a water spray as a ‘punishment.’ Not all the kids learned, but a surprising number did.”
Buttercup: “They better not dope up my grand-calf with some cannabinoid.”
Elsie: “Relax, Buttercup. No one’s giving Baby Belle THC. That’s something humans save for themselves.”
Bessie: “She’s right, you know. Funny how so many humans think they’re sompthin’ special because they graze on a drug they call ‘grass.’ Anyway, isn’t it kind of ironic that humans can be taken up with training us, but that they can’t train themselves to be civilized? Even when they offer one another green ‘treats’ they call money, they get only some temporary or partial conditioning. Heck, I heard there’s a whole country where humans prefer their past over the conditions of the present, a place where no one in charge pushes for education of the females. Bulls, every one of them! Buttin’ heads, gorin’ one another. Barnyard bullies, that’s humans, for you. And they’re everywhere, but especially in that one countryside, where patties cover the grazin’ land. Can’t imagine there’s any place to walk there without steppin' in it.”
Buttercup: “I’m going to see Baby Belle.”
Elsie: “Come on, Bessie, let’s go see this cow potty I read about. I heard there's a bunch of humans who think they can train everyone to act civilized.”
Bessie: “Okay, but even there, we better watch where we step. As you said, ‘Not all the kids learned.’ But I guess it’s better than walkin’ over that grazin’ land in Afghanistan.”
Note:
*https://www.science.org/content/article/barnyard-breakthrough-researchers-successfully-potty-train-cows
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