Sometimes, we hold tenaciously onto the unpleasantness of a past event. In the museum of memory, we preserve fossilized unpleasantness. We can’t let the incident go, so it surfaces in our ever-renewing present. But what was once tangible no longer exists except in memory, and as we know, different people remember differently. Those who caused the unpleasantness might not have enshrined their actions in their memory museum.
It is, of course, difficult to get past the past. In some ways, we can say we’re obsessed with it. In fact, there are professions devoted to “digging it up,” an appropriate term because fossil means “something dug up.” But paleontologists recognize two classes of fossils: Those that remain as hard parts like bone and shell and those that serve as hints of or traces of animals or plants. A good example of a trace fossil is a dinosaur footprint. Nothing of the original animal remains except that impression in lithified sediment.** It’s a chance preservation. Dinosaurs didn’t make footprints in hard rock, just in soft sediments that were rapidly preserved by rapid burial.
Think of unpleasant memories as trace fossils on soft brains. The “animals,” that is, the participants, in the circumstances of the past are no longer around or are no longer what they once were. Since his high school years, the bully Kosayamat had spent his time as a tailor, not a profession that we associate with bullies, I’d say. But Anakesri never forgot the bullying. One of his friends said, “Thanapat would get drunk then often talk about how angry he was about being bullied by Suthat. He never forgot about it.” And what of this trace that Anakesri held onto? Well, apparently his brain held the “footprints” of the bullying, whereas the brain of Kosayamat did not.
Thanapat Anakesri carried the trace fossil of his high school circumstances around with him as though he had the “hard part” itself. In holding onto the unpleasant past, we act as though we have the tangible hard parts of that long-gone moment. In reality, we are holding onto trace fossils. The people and events of that unpleasant memory are, in reality, either gone or changed; the past moment is gone, and its trace on your brain might not be preserved as a trace fossil on someone else’s brain.
Don’t obsess over traces of long past events; don’t dig them up. That obsession is one form of “paleontology” that buries present “hard parts” under traces of the past.
*Realnews. Tuesday, September 17, 2019. https://realnewsmagazine.net/crime/man-kills-school-bully-at-reunion-after-53-years/
**One can see good examples of dinosaur footprints at Dinosaur State Park in Rocky Hill, Connecticut, where the trace fossils have been preserved under a geodesic dome. http://dinosaurstatepark.org/ and https://images.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search;_ylt=AwrC_C0svIBdAQoAugAPxQt.;_ylu=X3oDMTByMDgyYjJiBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMyBHZ0aWQDBHNlYwNzYw--?p=dinosaur+footprint+museum+at+rocky+hill+connecticut&fr=yhs-pty-pty_maps&hspart=pty&hsimp=yhs-pty_maps&guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly9zZWFyY2gueWFob28uY29tL3locy9zZWFyY2g_aHNwYXJ0PXB0eSZoc2ltcD15aHMtcHR5X21hcHMmdHlwZT1BMSZwYXJhbTI9OTc4NDQzNDctNDU3NC00MWZhLThkNzUtNzQ4N2E4Y2UzNGVkJnBhcmFtMz1tYXBzZGlyZWN0aW9uc3NlYXJjaF80LjR-VVN-YXBwZm9jdXM1OTUmcGFyYW00PS1haXNvX2VtYWlsLUFkdmVydGl6ZV92NC1kc2ZfZW1haWwtLWJiOX5DaHJvbWV-ZGlub3NhdXIrZm9vdHByaW50K211c2V1bSthdCtyb2NreStoaWxsK2Nvbm5lY3RpY3V0fkQ0MUQ4Q0Q5OEYwMEIyMDRFOTgwMDk5OEVDRjg0MjdFJnBhcmFtMT0yMDE5MDYwMyZwPWRpbm9zYXVyK2Zvb3RwcmludCttdXNldW0rYXQrcm9ja3kraGlsbCtjb25uZWN0aWN1dA&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJZ0sDhIFf_ydHb-KAjWtrAbasdGDGJjz1bLmU_iPlCVLVj7IjDaxv3oLHgufMQ6mt2YYzNH4JK5R2vU-VzJYT_-GzhsgGkVAQdSwRlZwhYK8qQvHTZj4nrmbJcYMooudseQMdAE3Pf3i5D91fOpE9f8lPeMgAifcfZUOC2Nr40D
Finding fossils isn’t easy. The forces of decay and erosion destroy the actual remains and their traces more frequently than they are preserved. One has to “go looking” or accidentally stumble upon places where preservation has occurred, usually because of rapid burial. Had the backhoe driver at Rocky Hill felt no need to stop his digging when he uncovered the footprints, his machine could easily have destroyed the fossils that had escaped erosion under giant glaciers and flowing waters.