I wish I could really see myself without all my defense mechanisms. But no matter how I try to perfect introspection, I always return to the point of view of one interpreting and judging a world outside.I take myself too personally. How do I remove myself from myself?
Even though you might be better at self-knowledge than I, don’t you also find that the cares of the world force you to spend more time looking outward than inward? And doesn’t that outward perspective often entail judging others?
Making oneself a stranger to arrive at self-understanding and tolerance for others is at the heart of a book published in 1912 by Al. G. Field. Field seems to have gotten the inspiration for his book Watch Yourself Go By in verses by S. W. Gilliland:
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by;
Think of yourself as "he" instead of "I."
Note closely, as in other men you note,
The bag-kneed trousers and the seedy coat.
Pick the flaws; find fault; forget the man is you,
And strive to make your estimate ring true;
Confront yourself and look you in the eye--
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by.
Interpret all your motives just as though
You looked on one whose aims you did not know.
Let undisguised contempt surge through you when
You see you shirk, O commonest of men!
Despise your cowardice; condemn whate'er
You note of falseness in you anywhere.
Defend not one defect that shames your eye--
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by.
And then, with eyes unveiled to what you loathe--
To sins that with sweet charity you'd clothe--
Back to your self-walled tenements you'll go
With tolerance for all who dwell below.
The faults of others then will dwarf and shrink,
Love's chain grow stronger by one mighty link--
When you, with "he" as substitute for "I,"
Have stood aside and watched yourself go by.*
Seeing ourselves in the third person is difficult, but it is essential to understanding both ourselves and others. And it is particularly helpful if we wish to be nonjudgmental.
As long as we can’t look into our own hearts, we will have difficulty looking into the hearts of others. Give it a try: Watch yourself go by. For as long as you can maintain the process, privatively refer to yourself in the third person. “She is doing this. She has done that. She will do something. He thinks it is wrong. He has long thought thus.” See whether or not you find yourself a bit more tolerant after this little experiment of watching yourself go by.
*Gilliland published his poem in Penberthy Engineer and Field included it as the opening of his book. Field, Al. G., Watch Yourself Go By, Columbus, 1912.
Even though you might be better at self-knowledge than I, don’t you also find that the cares of the world force you to spend more time looking outward than inward? And doesn’t that outward perspective often entail judging others?
Making oneself a stranger to arrive at self-understanding and tolerance for others is at the heart of a book published in 1912 by Al. G. Field. Field seems to have gotten the inspiration for his book Watch Yourself Go By in verses by S. W. Gilliland:
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by;
Think of yourself as "he" instead of "I."
Note closely, as in other men you note,
The bag-kneed trousers and the seedy coat.
Pick the flaws; find fault; forget the man is you,
And strive to make your estimate ring true;
Confront yourself and look you in the eye--
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by.
Interpret all your motives just as though
You looked on one whose aims you did not know.
Let undisguised contempt surge through you when
You see you shirk, O commonest of men!
Despise your cowardice; condemn whate'er
You note of falseness in you anywhere.
Defend not one defect that shames your eye--
Just stand aside and watch yourself go by.
And then, with eyes unveiled to what you loathe--
To sins that with sweet charity you'd clothe--
Back to your self-walled tenements you'll go
With tolerance for all who dwell below.
The faults of others then will dwarf and shrink,
Love's chain grow stronger by one mighty link--
When you, with "he" as substitute for "I,"
Have stood aside and watched yourself go by.*
Seeing ourselves in the third person is difficult, but it is essential to understanding both ourselves and others. And it is particularly helpful if we wish to be nonjudgmental.
As long as we can’t look into our own hearts, we will have difficulty looking into the hearts of others. Give it a try: Watch yourself go by. For as long as you can maintain the process, privatively refer to yourself in the third person. “She is doing this. She has done that. She will do something. He thinks it is wrong. He has long thought thus.” See whether or not you find yourself a bit more tolerant after this little experiment of watching yourself go by.
*Gilliland published his poem in Penberthy Engineer and Field included it as the opening of his book. Field, Al. G., Watch Yourself Go By, Columbus, 1912.
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