Have you seen many arguments on an elevator? Of course, the short trip doesn’t make much time for any kind of extended relationship. Maybe you have noticed what I have noticed. People do move in the cramped space to allow others room. Sometimes, people exchange pleasantries. Sometimes, people help others move suitcases or baggage gurneys. Given the conditions, it all seems rather civilized. People share the journey at the worst in stoic resolve and at the best in friendly chatter, even though their destinations might be different.
“There has just died upon her little farm at Clarens, Switzerland, ‘La demoiselle Juliette Dodu of Pithiviers,’ forty-four years ago a telegraphist who outwitted the German invaders, was taken prisoner, threatened with death, treated chivalrously by the ‘Red Prince’ Friedrich Karl, released on the proclamation of peace, decorated with the Cross of the Legion of Honour, and retired to the little farm, where she ended her days. The spirit of this romance of the Franco-German War of 1870-71 lives in [a] picture by E.J. Delahaye. Chivalry was not then dead…”
Delahaye’s picture shows the Red Prince reaching to shake the hand of Juliette, a woman who had done her best to hinder the German advance on Paris. He greeted her by saying it was an honor “to meet so brave a woman.”*
If you read Malory’s Morte D’Arthur, you come across a number of passages that describe chivalrous actions, kindnesses, by knights of opposing allegiances. In “real life” meetings between enemies like that between the Red Prince and Juliette Dodu are probably not very common. The adversarial relationship of the Prince and Dodu was born of war, and their meeting was in the context of her capture.
Strangely, war does provide opportunities for chivalry, such as the “Christmas Peace” of 1914, when World War I adversaries stopped to share peace for a day. At the surrender of the Confederate Army at Appomattox Court House at the end of America’s Civil War, General Grant silenced a band that was playing in celebration by saying that the rebel soldiers were once again the Northerners’ countrymen, and he granted the Confederate soldiers the right to keep their personal possessions, including their horses so that they could use them for spring plowing.
But what has happened in the intervening time between Grant, the Red Prince, and our current rude generation? Are there still acts of chivalry once displayed by reconciled enemies, or even proffers of kindness to those with different allegiances?
Fortunately, personal acts of chivalry continue. We do get stories of kindness and mercy rather frequently, especially in times of trouble. Except. Except on the pages of social media, where cruelty seems to prevail between ideological adversaries. In war and catastrophe people are packed into an elevator even though they might desire different destinations. Proximity breeds familiarity. Familiarity has the potential to breed compassion, though it doesn’t always do so.
Maybe all acts of chivalry are born of close proximity: When we interact in person, even an adversary takes on a form similar to our own. On social media, we are disembodied, anonymous, stereotyped, and removed from personal contact. Unfortunately, those who live on social media rarely come into personal contact with their adversaries. Off in some cyber-distance, adversaries are “not like us.”
Can there be a shift of sensibilities from crude rudeness to merciful chivalry on social media? Yes. But it will require those who currently lack a sense of chivalry to imagine being in close proximity of their adversaries, somehow seeing them on a similar journey though to a differing destination. Standing in a packed elevator, we have little choice but to be civil during the ride.
* You can see the picture at https://ia800202.us.archive.org/21/items/theillustratedwa18334gut/18334-h/18334-h.htm
“There has just died upon her little farm at Clarens, Switzerland, ‘La demoiselle Juliette Dodu of Pithiviers,’ forty-four years ago a telegraphist who outwitted the German invaders, was taken prisoner, threatened with death, treated chivalrously by the ‘Red Prince’ Friedrich Karl, released on the proclamation of peace, decorated with the Cross of the Legion of Honour, and retired to the little farm, where she ended her days. The spirit of this romance of the Franco-German War of 1870-71 lives in [a] picture by E.J. Delahaye. Chivalry was not then dead…”
Delahaye’s picture shows the Red Prince reaching to shake the hand of Juliette, a woman who had done her best to hinder the German advance on Paris. He greeted her by saying it was an honor “to meet so brave a woman.”*
If you read Malory’s Morte D’Arthur, you come across a number of passages that describe chivalrous actions, kindnesses, by knights of opposing allegiances. In “real life” meetings between enemies like that between the Red Prince and Juliette Dodu are probably not very common. The adversarial relationship of the Prince and Dodu was born of war, and their meeting was in the context of her capture.
Strangely, war does provide opportunities for chivalry, such as the “Christmas Peace” of 1914, when World War I adversaries stopped to share peace for a day. At the surrender of the Confederate Army at Appomattox Court House at the end of America’s Civil War, General Grant silenced a band that was playing in celebration by saying that the rebel soldiers were once again the Northerners’ countrymen, and he granted the Confederate soldiers the right to keep their personal possessions, including their horses so that they could use them for spring plowing.
But what has happened in the intervening time between Grant, the Red Prince, and our current rude generation? Are there still acts of chivalry once displayed by reconciled enemies, or even proffers of kindness to those with different allegiances?
Fortunately, personal acts of chivalry continue. We do get stories of kindness and mercy rather frequently, especially in times of trouble. Except. Except on the pages of social media, where cruelty seems to prevail between ideological adversaries. In war and catastrophe people are packed into an elevator even though they might desire different destinations. Proximity breeds familiarity. Familiarity has the potential to breed compassion, though it doesn’t always do so.
Maybe all acts of chivalry are born of close proximity: When we interact in person, even an adversary takes on a form similar to our own. On social media, we are disembodied, anonymous, stereotyped, and removed from personal contact. Unfortunately, those who live on social media rarely come into personal contact with their adversaries. Off in some cyber-distance, adversaries are “not like us.”
Can there be a shift of sensibilities from crude rudeness to merciful chivalry on social media? Yes. But it will require those who currently lack a sense of chivalry to imagine being in close proximity of their adversaries, somehow seeing them on a similar journey though to a differing destination. Standing in a packed elevator, we have little choice but to be civil during the ride.
* You can see the picture at https://ia800202.us.archive.org/21/items/theillustratedwa18334gut/18334-h/18334-h.htm
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