A conversation between two people, a climate-change alarmist, Mr. A, who attended COP27, and a climate-change doubter, Miss B.
Mr. A.: Wonderful turnout. That 27th Conference of the Parties (COP27) was a great step forward. There were 50,000 attendees at Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. And the Ocean Pavilion hosted some 15,000 of those attendees.
Miss B.: Whoa, you’re telling me that some 50,000 people traveled to Egypt to discuss climate change? On whose dime? Various governments? Some private benefactors? Fifty thousand! Could you calculate the amount of carbon dioxide emitted by the travel?
Mr. A,: Look, it was important to meet to discuss climate change. And we made great progress. For example, the ocean was included in a separate section (XIII) of the Sharm el-Sheikh Implementation Plan. And paragraph 26 declares the need to address systematic observation and information gaps in our knowledge of the ocean and its role in climate change. The COP people agreed that the ocean plays a role in mitigating a climate disaster.
Miss B.: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Did you say there were 50,000 attendees? Fifty thousand?…Oh! And I assume they all left feeling enthusiastic about their universal agreement that the oceans are important to the climate systems.
Mr. A.: Well, of course. And people agreed that the oceans should be studied more systematically.
Miss B.: You are aware, aren’t you, that since 70% of the planet is covered by water, the oceans play an integral role in climate? Take ocean currents, for example. Have you noticed that where there are cold currents on the western sides of continents, there are deserts on the continents? Have you noticed that where maritime air enters a continent, it spreads moisture over the continent, making a region like the American Gulf Coast a bit humid by comparison with the American Southwest? Have you noticed that the Gulf Stream affects the climate of Ireland? That the Labrador Current affects the climate of New England? Fifty thousand COP attendees. What are they going to do about ENSO to change the world? What did they accomplish beyond adding carbon to the atmosphere and walking away saying, “See, we care”? You’re telling me that they decided the ocean is important? I’m impressed. Who’d a thunk it?
Mr. A.: It was important to get everybody in agreement. Everyone there said that we should be doing something.
Miss B.: Yeah. Stop flying around the planet unnecessarily. So, COP28 will be the next big conference. COP29 the one after that; COPAdInfinitum after that. And at each conference people will agree that “something must be done,” probably even if the so called climate crisis doesn’t occur. But then, I guess every weather phenomenon will be labeled a climate issue. You will get on a plane next year and go to another conference where you will have drinks and hors d’oeuvres, maybe some caviar, and definitely some steak—when no one is looking because, as you know, cows add methane to the atmosphere.
Mr. A.: Go ahead, mock. We’re getting the world to recognize a problem and find ways to prevent a disaster.
Miss B.: Really? Find ways? Or are you finding ways to set civilization back centuries? You don’t want fossil fuels? I guess you don’t want the advantages they bring to raising lifespans, supplying hospitals with reliable power, heating and air conditioning the very buildings where the COP conferences are held, and providing the most convenient means of travel the world has ever seen. I guess you’ll ride a horse to the next conference.
Mr. A.: You climate deniers…
Miss B.: “Deniers!” Why, because I see the product of your claiming there’s a climate crisis just because the world might have warmed a degree Celsius over the past 150 years though there also seems to be a “pause” in that warming over the last twenty years? Is more carbon dioxide bad for the crops? Is it really possible to associate weather events, even droughts, with overall climate change? Did the Mayans and Anasazi civilizations suffer long-term droughts because they burned fossil fuels? Is there proof that a warming world will not reverse its own warming as it has many times? Warmer oceans? More evaporation. More evaporation more clouds. More clouds, more sunlight reflected to space and cooler temperatures. More sunspots? Fewer sunspots?
Mr. A.: But we scientists agree that…
Miss B.: Who agrees. Look at the contradictions in the IPCC reports. Look at the IPCC’s own statements. Hold on; wait, I have one here. Here it is. This is your so called “crisis.” One IPCC executive summary says: “For most economic sectors, the impact of climate change will be small relative to the impacts of other drivers…Changes in population, age, income, technology, relative prices, lifestyle, regulation, governance, and many other aspects of socioeconomic development will have an impact on the supply and demand economic goods and services that is large relative to the impact of climate change.”
Mr. A.: But 97%…
Miss B.: Come on, we all know that figure of “scientists” or scientific consensus has been debunked, that it is based on a flawed and limited survey and that it even includes “nonscientists” who have been convinced that there’s a crisis. And all the while that you COP attendees worry that something must be done and sign away your potential for individual wealth in the grand redistribution scheme, the Chinese and Indians keep burning fossil fuels in an attempt to achieve economic dominance.
Mr. A.: Look at all the good we have done…
Miss B.: What? What good? Yes, we now have some alternate energy sources. That’s good, but you haven’t changed any world climate by one iota. Twenty-seven conferences and all I have heard is talk, talk, talk. And it’s always the same “We must act now.” Want to act now? Stop going to conferences all over the planet. Follow Jimmy Carter’s advice. In the depth of winter keep your thermostat at 55. Wear a sweater. You’ll be immensely uncomfortable, but you’ll save energy in the short term. You'll "save" the planet.
Mr. A.: You just don’t understand. We’re in a crisis.
Miss B.: I think I do understand. We have crisis-level hypocrisy and ineptitude. We have a crisis of money spent on unreliable energy systems. We have a crisis born of belief over skepticism. We have a crisis of the wealthy flying everywhere to tell people not to use the cheap, abundant energy that electrified the civilized world and that all the Third World countries desire. Keep those remote villagers in the dark! Keep them hot in summer and cold in winter. Decrease their growing longevity to pre-Industrial times. Limit their carbon footprint to some small cooking fires. In the meantime, you fly to exotic locations and reap all the benefits of a fossil fueled economy. But, hey, you're saving the planet, right?
Mr. A.: You’re just impossible…
Miss B.: And that’s your scientific assessment? Hey. Enjoy yourself at COP28 in Dubai. I hear there might be as many as 80,000 delegates. Nothing like holding the event in a cheap Motel 6 along an American Interstate! Eventually, at some distant COP as the population of delegates grows exponentially, just about every other person on the planet will be an attendee. Dubai? Give me a break.
Mr. A.: Wonderful turnout. That 27th Conference of the Parties (COP27) was a great step forward. There were 50,000 attendees at Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. And the Ocean Pavilion hosted some 15,000 of those attendees.
Miss B.: Whoa, you’re telling me that some 50,000 people traveled to Egypt to discuss climate change? On whose dime? Various governments? Some private benefactors? Fifty thousand! Could you calculate the amount of carbon dioxide emitted by the travel?
Mr. A,: Look, it was important to meet to discuss climate change. And we made great progress. For example, the ocean was included in a separate section (XIII) of the Sharm el-Sheikh Implementation Plan. And paragraph 26 declares the need to address systematic observation and information gaps in our knowledge of the ocean and its role in climate change. The COP people agreed that the ocean plays a role in mitigating a climate disaster.
Miss B.: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. Did you say there were 50,000 attendees? Fifty thousand?…Oh! And I assume they all left feeling enthusiastic about their universal agreement that the oceans are important to the climate systems.
Mr. A.: Well, of course. And people agreed that the oceans should be studied more systematically.
Miss B.: You are aware, aren’t you, that since 70% of the planet is covered by water, the oceans play an integral role in climate? Take ocean currents, for example. Have you noticed that where there are cold currents on the western sides of continents, there are deserts on the continents? Have you noticed that where maritime air enters a continent, it spreads moisture over the continent, making a region like the American Gulf Coast a bit humid by comparison with the American Southwest? Have you noticed that the Gulf Stream affects the climate of Ireland? That the Labrador Current affects the climate of New England? Fifty thousand COP attendees. What are they going to do about ENSO to change the world? What did they accomplish beyond adding carbon to the atmosphere and walking away saying, “See, we care”? You’re telling me that they decided the ocean is important? I’m impressed. Who’d a thunk it?
Mr. A.: It was important to get everybody in agreement. Everyone there said that we should be doing something.
Miss B.: Yeah. Stop flying around the planet unnecessarily. So, COP28 will be the next big conference. COP29 the one after that; COPAdInfinitum after that. And at each conference people will agree that “something must be done,” probably even if the so called climate crisis doesn’t occur. But then, I guess every weather phenomenon will be labeled a climate issue. You will get on a plane next year and go to another conference where you will have drinks and hors d’oeuvres, maybe some caviar, and definitely some steak—when no one is looking because, as you know, cows add methane to the atmosphere.
Mr. A.: Go ahead, mock. We’re getting the world to recognize a problem and find ways to prevent a disaster.
Miss B.: Really? Find ways? Or are you finding ways to set civilization back centuries? You don’t want fossil fuels? I guess you don’t want the advantages they bring to raising lifespans, supplying hospitals with reliable power, heating and air conditioning the very buildings where the COP conferences are held, and providing the most convenient means of travel the world has ever seen. I guess you’ll ride a horse to the next conference.
Mr. A.: You climate deniers…
Miss B.: “Deniers!” Why, because I see the product of your claiming there’s a climate crisis just because the world might have warmed a degree Celsius over the past 150 years though there also seems to be a “pause” in that warming over the last twenty years? Is more carbon dioxide bad for the crops? Is it really possible to associate weather events, even droughts, with overall climate change? Did the Mayans and Anasazi civilizations suffer long-term droughts because they burned fossil fuels? Is there proof that a warming world will not reverse its own warming as it has many times? Warmer oceans? More evaporation. More evaporation more clouds. More clouds, more sunlight reflected to space and cooler temperatures. More sunspots? Fewer sunspots?
Mr. A.: But we scientists agree that…
Miss B.: Who agrees. Look at the contradictions in the IPCC reports. Look at the IPCC’s own statements. Hold on; wait, I have one here. Here it is. This is your so called “crisis.” One IPCC executive summary says: “For most economic sectors, the impact of climate change will be small relative to the impacts of other drivers…Changes in population, age, income, technology, relative prices, lifestyle, regulation, governance, and many other aspects of socioeconomic development will have an impact on the supply and demand economic goods and services that is large relative to the impact of climate change.”
Mr. A.: But 97%…
Miss B.: Come on, we all know that figure of “scientists” or scientific consensus has been debunked, that it is based on a flawed and limited survey and that it even includes “nonscientists” who have been convinced that there’s a crisis. And all the while that you COP attendees worry that something must be done and sign away your potential for individual wealth in the grand redistribution scheme, the Chinese and Indians keep burning fossil fuels in an attempt to achieve economic dominance.
Mr. A.: Look at all the good we have done…
Miss B.: What? What good? Yes, we now have some alternate energy sources. That’s good, but you haven’t changed any world climate by one iota. Twenty-seven conferences and all I have heard is talk, talk, talk. And it’s always the same “We must act now.” Want to act now? Stop going to conferences all over the planet. Follow Jimmy Carter’s advice. In the depth of winter keep your thermostat at 55. Wear a sweater. You’ll be immensely uncomfortable, but you’ll save energy in the short term. You'll "save" the planet.
Mr. A.: You just don’t understand. We’re in a crisis.
Miss B.: I think I do understand. We have crisis-level hypocrisy and ineptitude. We have a crisis of money spent on unreliable energy systems. We have a crisis born of belief over skepticism. We have a crisis of the wealthy flying everywhere to tell people not to use the cheap, abundant energy that electrified the civilized world and that all the Third World countries desire. Keep those remote villagers in the dark! Keep them hot in summer and cold in winter. Decrease their growing longevity to pre-Industrial times. Limit their carbon footprint to some small cooking fires. In the meantime, you fly to exotic locations and reap all the benefits of a fossil fueled economy. But, hey, you're saving the planet, right?
Mr. A.: You’re just impossible…
Miss B.: And that’s your scientific assessment? Hey. Enjoy yourself at COP28 in Dubai. I hear there might be as many as 80,000 delegates. Nothing like holding the event in a cheap Motel 6 along an American Interstate! Eventually, at some distant COP as the population of delegates grows exponentially, just about every other person on the planet will be an attendee. Dubai? Give me a break.
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