If you keep a jar of pickles in your house, you will never have monsters under the bed or in the basement. Monsters abhor pickles. No one knows exactly why, but they might find revolting the very notion of something sour. Or, maybe it’s the dill. I don’t know, and I don’t think there’s been an objective study of the matter. I just know that I have pickles in the house, and I have never seen a monster, not under the bed with the dust bunnies nor in the basement. Pickles. That’s what I figure.
Would that it were so simple to keep monsters away. But real monsters never seem to get the message about jars of pickles, generation after generation. So, the monsters of today act out their aggression toward the innocent as though no one keeps a jar of pickles in the society. Isn’t there a way to rid the world of monsters?
We could put our beds directly on the floor, eliminating any room for monsters there. And we could build on slabs, giving up basements altogether. We might even build flat roofs that cannot accommodate room for an attic. We could take all these actions, but monsters will always find their way into the house, into our personal lives, or into our consciousness when they commit atrocities against others.
We could try a spatial solution like moving to an area where monsters could not tolerate a climate of peace and cooperation. Wait! That’s been tried over and over. Most closed societies—the failed utopias of idealists—are short term. They might be partially effective for the first generation, but the second or third generation will make changes, and the original social order will change: Establishment always begets Anti-Establishment. Junior might not like what Senior wants him to like. Oh! And let’s not even mention “how to act.”
Looks like monsters are here to stay. I just know that in my house, the pickles seem to work.
Would that it were so simple to keep monsters away. But real monsters never seem to get the message about jars of pickles, generation after generation. So, the monsters of today act out their aggression toward the innocent as though no one keeps a jar of pickles in the society. Isn’t there a way to rid the world of monsters?
We could put our beds directly on the floor, eliminating any room for monsters there. And we could build on slabs, giving up basements altogether. We might even build flat roofs that cannot accommodate room for an attic. We could take all these actions, but monsters will always find their way into the house, into our personal lives, or into our consciousness when they commit atrocities against others.
We could try a spatial solution like moving to an area where monsters could not tolerate a climate of peace and cooperation. Wait! That’s been tried over and over. Most closed societies—the failed utopias of idealists—are short term. They might be partially effective for the first generation, but the second or third generation will make changes, and the original social order will change: Establishment always begets Anti-Establishment. Junior might not like what Senior wants him to like. Oh! And let’s not even mention “how to act.”
Looks like monsters are here to stay. I just know that in my house, the pickles seem to work.
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