“So, there I was, being a blob and just reading ‘round the stuff online, and I happened across the stories centered on London’s mayor calling for a knife ban. And, like you, I thought, ‘Has the rise of technological society come full circle?’ You have to think Homo habilis, that ancient ancestor and early tool-maker, might be turning over in the grave. I can hear members of the extinct group discussing the London mayor.”
“Grunt, look what’s written in the morning rock. The mayor of London wants to ban sharp things. You better hide that piece of rock you were chipping. What’s that? How are you going to skin the giant sloth? Look, Grunt, why do you think the Great Overseer gave us fingernails?”
“Urg, really? Think with your small brain about it. Banning sharp things? Did you not pay attention in Cave School when we learned about all the tools that could be invented. I subscribe to Popular Future, so I know what will one day be possible. We might even be able to send a man to the top of the mountain and back. Someday, we’ll know what that white stuff is up there. It can’t be saliva as the old people say. Anyway, I know that someday people will have new sharp things, maybe made of obsidian.”
“Hey, I read the same mag. There’s a guy who says that someday we’ll have tools made of shiny hard stuff we’ll get from the ground and throw into fire. We’re just on the verge of what he calls the copper age—just a couple of thousand millennia from now, or so. The same guy says that we’ll spend the next two million years refining tools. Two million years of tool development with new materials, shapes, and even uses—uses beyond simply skinning a sloth. And now we see that the London Mayor wants to ban the very reason he has a city called London, the use of tools of all kinds, especially if they are pointy or sharp. Talk about a full circle!”
“No, Urg, I didn’t see the morning rock, so I have to ask. Why does the London mayor want to ban sharp things?”
“He says they can be used to kill people. Somehow he doesn’t know our history, how we used to throw pebbles and cobbles at animals to kill them. How we used to bludgeon to death our rivals before we could stab and chop them. But then, if he did know, he would probably ban round things, things that can be thrown, maybe even cliffs off which some animals or people can be thrown. I can see the mayor realizing that fire is also dangerous. So, ban fire, right? And fists. No closed hands in public. I just have to ask a simple question way back here on the path to Homo sapiens sapiens: Why go through two and a half million years of technological development if you intend to end up where we started?”
“Grunt, look what’s written in the morning rock. The mayor of London wants to ban sharp things. You better hide that piece of rock you were chipping. What’s that? How are you going to skin the giant sloth? Look, Grunt, why do you think the Great Overseer gave us fingernails?”
“Urg, really? Think with your small brain about it. Banning sharp things? Did you not pay attention in Cave School when we learned about all the tools that could be invented. I subscribe to Popular Future, so I know what will one day be possible. We might even be able to send a man to the top of the mountain and back. Someday, we’ll know what that white stuff is up there. It can’t be saliva as the old people say. Anyway, I know that someday people will have new sharp things, maybe made of obsidian.”
“Hey, I read the same mag. There’s a guy who says that someday we’ll have tools made of shiny hard stuff we’ll get from the ground and throw into fire. We’re just on the verge of what he calls the copper age—just a couple of thousand millennia from now, or so. The same guy says that we’ll spend the next two million years refining tools. Two million years of tool development with new materials, shapes, and even uses—uses beyond simply skinning a sloth. And now we see that the London Mayor wants to ban the very reason he has a city called London, the use of tools of all kinds, especially if they are pointy or sharp. Talk about a full circle!”
“No, Urg, I didn’t see the morning rock, so I have to ask. Why does the London mayor want to ban sharp things?”
“He says they can be used to kill people. Somehow he doesn’t know our history, how we used to throw pebbles and cobbles at animals to kill them. How we used to bludgeon to death our rivals before we could stab and chop them. But then, if he did know, he would probably ban round things, things that can be thrown, maybe even cliffs off which some animals or people can be thrown. I can see the mayor realizing that fire is also dangerous. So, ban fire, right? And fists. No closed hands in public. I just have to ask a simple question way back here on the path to Homo sapiens sapiens: Why go through two and a half million years of technological development if you intend to end up where we started?”
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