Now, Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha’apai *
Beneath the waves sent heat up high;
The magma’s up; the water’s hot;
El Niño and volcano wrought
A rise in temps; and that’s a lot,
Some two degrees—or so it’s thought.
Some sixty K olympic pools
Of greenhouse vapor ignored by fools.
In just one blast what Hunga did,
It boiled water; shot its lid
Into the upper air on Earth
And raised the temps around its girth.
Oh! No. What can volcanoes show
That climate people do not know?
That in a micro moment, too,
They raise the temps in Celsius two. **
“How do they do that,” you might ask.
“Does it mean in heat we’ll bask?”
The teragrams of boiled sea;
Sent skyward, heating you and me,
Increased the vapor up on high
By ten percent. “Will we all fry?”
“Oh! Yes, we will,” alarmists cry.
“Oh! Save us, Lord, so we won’t die.”
“No worries, children, Biden’s near,
“He’ll soothe your mind and calm your fear.
“He banned gas stoves to save your life;
“It will, he said, help chef and wife
“Prepare a meal and cause no strife.
“Electric stoves will heat your food
“Alarmists say the move is shrewd."
We know their answer about the climate;
The problem is the human primate.
“Why cook with fire while windmills churn?
“Electric stoves like gas can burn.
“As POTUS knows, gas fire’s an evil;
“Let’s eat in manner most primeval."
“Cooking food with gas you say?
“We have electric’s better way.
“We’ll power up with solar panels
“And we’ll be praised in future’s annals.
“We’ll save the planet and all its life;
“We’ll make our sushi from alewife.”
But then, at night, when Sun goes down,
He’ll say to Jill with furrowed frown,
“My dinner’s cold, I fear, my dear.
“I liked it when you used to sear
“And cook my dinner just such so
“The meal was hot and still aglow.”
“I’m sorry, Joe, it’s not my fault;
“Just add some pepper and some salt.
”You wanted me to cook with pow’r,
“That solar can’t provide this hour.
“And yesterday the wind died down
“You’ll eat cold food in your nightgown.”
“But Jill, this meal is cold as Hell,
“It doesn’t have that broiled smell.
“And what’s this gooey chewy stuff,
“Some unbaked bread? I’ve had enough!
“I didn’t know that banning stoves
“Would keep us all from eating loaves.
“I’ve done all this to save the Earth
“And not just here, around its girth.”
Then Jill the loving faithful wife,
Informed him of the natural strife.
“Have you not heard what Hunga did
“When it this year did blow its lid?”
“No, tell me Jill, what’s that about?”
“Beneath the waves it did blow out.
“And sent its heat into the water
“Already warmed; it made it hotter.
“And sent that water into the sky.”
Bewildered POTUS turned and said,
“It’s carbon that will make us dead.
“What greenhouse gas is water vapor?
“After all, it’s just some water;
“Don’t mention it or Hunter’s daughter.
”And doesn’t water put out fire?
“Some more of it is not so dire.
“It’s carbon gas that is the threat
“To raise all mankind to a sweat.
“So banning gas will save us all
“Keep winter cold and cool the fall.
“What would a warmer world entail
“If we don’t act? Or if we fail?”
“Hunga bunga smunga what?
“I rule by science and my gut.
”And where’s my dinner nice and hot?”
“The power’s out; the stove we bought
“Runs on the wind; the grid is out.
“You have no choice but eat cold trout.”
“Now, Jill, you know that I am wise;
“I will not let the temperature rise.
”I won’t let climates change a bit
“I am no fool and no half-wit.”
“Yes, dear, she says, and turns away,
“Lord, help me through another day.”
And as she goes, she hears him say,
“I like my meals hot every day.”
*https://www.nasa.gov/centers-and-facilities/goddard/tonga-eruption-blasted-unprecedented-amount-of-water-into-stratosphere/
*https://www.latimes.com/environment/story/2023-11-20/earth-surpasses-critical-warming-threshold-officials-say
Beneath the waves sent heat up high;
The magma’s up; the water’s hot;
El Niño and volcano wrought
A rise in temps; and that’s a lot,
Some two degrees—or so it’s thought.
Some sixty K olympic pools
Of greenhouse vapor ignored by fools.
In just one blast what Hunga did,
It boiled water; shot its lid
Into the upper air on Earth
And raised the temps around its girth.
Oh! No. What can volcanoes show
That climate people do not know?
That in a micro moment, too,
They raise the temps in Celsius two. **
“How do they do that,” you might ask.
“Does it mean in heat we’ll bask?”
The teragrams of boiled sea;
Sent skyward, heating you and me,
Increased the vapor up on high
By ten percent. “Will we all fry?”
“Oh! Yes, we will,” alarmists cry.
“Oh! Save us, Lord, so we won’t die.”
“No worries, children, Biden’s near,
“He’ll soothe your mind and calm your fear.
“He banned gas stoves to save your life;
“It will, he said, help chef and wife
“Prepare a meal and cause no strife.
“Electric stoves will heat your food
“Alarmists say the move is shrewd."
We know their answer about the climate;
The problem is the human primate.
“Why cook with fire while windmills churn?
“Electric stoves like gas can burn.
“As POTUS knows, gas fire’s an evil;
“Let’s eat in manner most primeval."
“Cooking food with gas you say?
“We have electric’s better way.
“We’ll power up with solar panels
“And we’ll be praised in future’s annals.
“We’ll save the planet and all its life;
“We’ll make our sushi from alewife.”
But then, at night, when Sun goes down,
He’ll say to Jill with furrowed frown,
“My dinner’s cold, I fear, my dear.
“I liked it when you used to sear
“And cook my dinner just such so
“The meal was hot and still aglow.”
“I’m sorry, Joe, it’s not my fault;
“Just add some pepper and some salt.
”You wanted me to cook with pow’r,
“That solar can’t provide this hour.
“And yesterday the wind died down
“You’ll eat cold food in your nightgown.”
“But Jill, this meal is cold as Hell,
“It doesn’t have that broiled smell.
“And what’s this gooey chewy stuff,
“Some unbaked bread? I’ve had enough!
“I didn’t know that banning stoves
“Would keep us all from eating loaves.
“I’ve done all this to save the Earth
“And not just here, around its girth.”
Then Jill the loving faithful wife,
Informed him of the natural strife.
“Have you not heard what Hunga did
“When it this year did blow its lid?”
“No, tell me Jill, what’s that about?”
“Beneath the waves it did blow out.
“And sent its heat into the water
“Already warmed; it made it hotter.
“And sent that water into the sky.”
Bewildered POTUS turned and said,
“It’s carbon that will make us dead.
“What greenhouse gas is water vapor?
“After all, it’s just some water;
“Don’t mention it or Hunter’s daughter.
”And doesn’t water put out fire?
“Some more of it is not so dire.
“It’s carbon gas that is the threat
“To raise all mankind to a sweat.
“So banning gas will save us all
“Keep winter cold and cool the fall.
“What would a warmer world entail
“If we don’t act? Or if we fail?”
“Hunga bunga smunga what?
“I rule by science and my gut.
”And where’s my dinner nice and hot?”
“The power’s out; the stove we bought
“Runs on the wind; the grid is out.
“You have no choice but eat cold trout.”
“Now, Jill, you know that I am wise;
“I will not let the temperature rise.
”I won’t let climates change a bit
“I am no fool and no half-wit.”
“Yes, dear, she says, and turns away,
“Lord, help me through another day.”
And as she goes, she hears him say,
“I like my meals hot every day.”
*https://www.nasa.gov/centers-and-facilities/goddard/tonga-eruption-blasted-unprecedented-amount-of-water-into-stratosphere/
*https://www.latimes.com/environment/story/2023-11-20/earth-surpasses-critical-warming-threshold-officials-say
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